TOP 10 funniest jokes for may from jokesbreak.com

Here is top 10 funniest jokes from site jokesbreak.com for month may, have fun!

When 40 people think at food, it`s called funeral. 
When 38 people think at food, and 2 at s*x it`s called wedding. 
When 40 people think at s*x, it`s team-building.

A grasshopper walks into a bar, 
bartender says, "Hey we have a drink named after you." 
Grasshopper says, "Really? You have a drink named Larry?"

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? 
A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come!!!

One man walking on the street with two penguins. His friends get very angry when they see him and they told him to take poor animals to zoo. Man said them that's great idea and he left. After 2 hours they saw him again with two penguins and they are angry. Man said "Why you angry? We been there and now we are going to cinema."

Q: 17 blonds stand out side a workout room, why don't they go in? 
A: The sign says must be 18 to enter.

Q: How can you tell when a woman is about to say something smart? 
A: When she starts a sentence with "a man once told me".

Q: Waiter how long will the chips be? 
A: About five centimeters each, I expect sir.

An elephant asked a camel, "Why do you have Breasts on your back?" 
The camel replied, "Well, that's a pretty dumb question coming from someone who has a penis on his face!!"

Q: What do u find in an empty nose? 
A: Finger prints.

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, 
"This is the WORST book I’ve ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarks 
"So, you’re the one who took our phone book…"         

TOP 10 funniest jokes for april from jokesbreak.com

Hi folks, here is top 10 funniest jokes from site jokesbreak.com for month april, have fun!

Q: How do you fit 4 elephants into a mini? 
A: 2 in the front 2 in he back. 
Q: How do you fit 4 girrafes into a mini? 
A: You can't because the elephants are in thier. 
Q: How do you know there is 2 elephants in the fridge? 
A: There's foot prints in the butter. 
Q: How do you know there's 3 elephants in the fridge? 
A: You can't close the door. 
Q: How do you know there's 4 elephants in the fridge? 
A: ...............there will be a mini parked outside.

Beethoven: Are you guys ready for some symphonies tonight? 
Crowd: *cheers* Yeah!!! 
Beethoven: I can't hear you!

A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, 
"What are you doing?" 
A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!!!!

Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? 
A: The snowballs.

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One of them was a salted.

A man goes to see a wizard and says 
"can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?" 
"Maybe," says the wizard, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?" 
The man replies without hesitation "I pronounce you man and wife ..."

A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."

A guy walked into a bar. He walked out drunk.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?" 
The barman says, "No, this is a bar, we don't have bread." 
So the duck says, "Got any bread?" 
The barman says, "No, this is a bar, we don't have bread. I told you that." 
"Got any bread?" asks the duck. 
"No, we don't sell bread here... and if you say that again i will nail you to the table!!!!" 
The duck pauses then says, "Got any nails?" 
"No," sighs the barman. 
So the duck says..."Got any bread?"

Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
Yes, sir. You are a taxi.